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Madness
'But we do not have to think that human nature is perfect for us to still believe that the human condition can be perfected. We do not have to live in an idealized world to still reach for those ideals that will make it a better place.' - Obama
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Narcissism
Yellow flower in the field |
Monsters
layout by: eight-fishies very much inspired by: rearrange |
Sunday, August 31, 2008
tagged :D 9:48 PM
Answer the questions below, do a Google Image Search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, do it with minimal words of explanation. 1' the age you will be on your next birthday.  2' a place you would like to travel to.  3' your favourite place.  4' your favourite food.  5' your favourite colour.  6' your favourite piece of clothing.  7' your favourite song.  8' your favourite TV show, currently at the moment.  9' first name of your significant other/crush.  10' the district/town where you live in.  11' your screen name/nickname.  12' your first job.  13' your dream job.  14' a bad habit you have.  15' your worst fear.  16' the one thing you would like to do before you die.  17' the first thing you will get if you have $1 000 000.  18' so how long did you take to finish this.  tagged: -eliz -sulynn -andre -jingyen -eriza Saturday, August 30, 2008
hello-ello-ello-o-o-o! 12:14 AM
Because I don't know what to say when you're here. Because I don't know what to say when you're near. It's all inside, all inside. it strange how we meet new people & we somehow seem to click instantly. it's strange when they seem to know you so well, yet want to know you more. it's strange when you seem to be so close, yet all the time you're just being formal & polite. it's strange when you wonder if he knows the same. it's strange how one comes after another. it's strange that when you don't want & forget about them, they just come. it's so strange! ta's! when we met, we smiled & we longed for it to stay that way, but yet we didn't. Friday, August 29, 2008
back to Past 4:59 AM
celebration in school was pretty exciting. i'll get the class to thank zn & mira for the class teacher's day gift cos they spent the whole morning-night redo-ing the whole thing which makes me feel super paiseh (although i shouldn't be the one feeling so). jiaxing's ear bled & it was terrifyingly terrfying O_O prayed for her & stuff with curbes & eliz. BACK.TO.SCHOOL.<3 it was splendid, yo! i saw a GEPer who looked like weexuan & i saw ZONGRUI. believe me, he is the hottest p6 around :D yea, but sadly, he rejected my orange flower which cost me 2 bucks -.- he suppose to love me, yo! i saw sean & yes, he seemed more emo. DANGG, HE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN I LIKE DARK CHOCOLATE INSTEAD OF WHITE LA /: but oh, wells. thanks, sean :D he grew taller & somehow, haha..nicer. can't wait to talk to eliz about it, HAHHA. i gave hima yellow smiley balloon that wrote something like 'this will make you happy, so you won't be emo anymore', with a yellow card in a yellow plastic bag & a bad of inflated balloons & the remains of his first balloon (which burst & broke my heart into itsy-bitsy pieces!) LOL. i saw liwei too & the first thing i said was, 'REMEMBER TO BRING ORANGE ON CNY!' haha, i'll annual routine of dropping an orange from the general office just for the fun of it :D learning the forces of gravity, haha. & jianhong looked so boy with his hair :D HAHA. jekjin grew taller, but somehow still damn scrawny. clare shrinkshrankshrunk. gwen's still shorter than me. jielin's still very white. & DINGWEI'S SOOO CUTE! hahahaha. he's in sji, npcc. & he didn't join track cos it was too time consuming -.- can you imagine him in track? THEN I'LL BE ABLE TO SEE HIM EVERY NATIONALS' it'll totally brighten up my life, man! katherine & geraldine were there too. met them at KAP again [: & we were all O_O 'wth are you doing here!?' haha. ajy came tooo. she gave me this purple coloured bead thingy made into a heart & it's really pretty :D jingyen, haoyi, gene, weesheng (I SAW HIM AT THE BUS-STOP <3),>qirui, gabriel & some other 6g guys were there. THEY'RE ALL SO BIG NOW /: except for gab, HAHA. ben soh was there. he got bigger! siying brought her supposedly sec 4 boyfriend there, & goshhhhh..HE/SHE/IT LOOKS LIKE A GIRL O_O white flawless complection & an all-rounder! leon was there. he was hovering above me -.- & out of the blue, bryan teo started messaging me. & here's his..super weird method he uses as a conversation starter: 'hey, i did not see you today. did you got back to nanyang? this is bryan teo' 'i'm in school. where are you?' 'oh, i left already' -.- & then the converstion continued from how i was a paikia & he was so guai to..the competition he's having now with an ex-national player. LOL. yukiko, eriza & ajy went for buffet @ don'tknowwhere & then they went baking, HAHA. they should have had fun la :D (without me, lol) i think primary school's great. you know the close guyfriends, some are still the same, but some are like..different, in a good way & we all still get along. it's not like knowing all the stranger-ish ri guys who've you never met before & like, you're not who you really are when you speak to them. we sat in the canteen for awhile & instantly, i felt like a kid. i wanted to be one. & the saw the whole canteen as how it was in primary 6. how i'd rush all the way to the fifth floor, back to class. & we'll always be late. we'd sneak into the classroom by the back door & said we had to grab something from our lockers. haha. oh, here's my conversation with mrs tan, haha. 'really, you guys don't need to buy us gifts anymore! it's so sweet of you all!' 'ooh, i didn't give anything to any teacher at all! haha.' 'SO TERRIBLE!' the irony, haha. the past was sweet. looks like the future's getting hotter! sean, dingwei, liwei. it's so cool when you seem closer to the stangers that once were. when i came home at 3.30pm... i opened every little paper & fell asleep till 7pm. was just really tired & all. each paper was empty, & as they became lesser 321, hope was fading, yet the excitement was hanging there; i was kept in suspense, then dropped so low down to disappointment dreamt that there was a last pink piece which i'd forgotten to unwrap. i was afraid, could i still face it? i grabbed it & unwrapped it. 'happy birthday, sweetie!' ta's! curtain's finally closing! Thursday, August 28, 2008
way into tomorrow... 8:05 AM
LOVE YOUR ENEMIES 7:46 AM
i'm mad. i feel responsible for all the extra shitload of stuff you guys are doing while some people just slag their asses around smiling & talking like it owns the world. i swear it's so NOT gonna happen again. one day, i'll blow & i'll burn you! yesterday, i bit my gum to hard that my whole mouth bled & it tasted all weird. yesterday, alot of eyeballs were staring, confessions were made, lectures were given & i realise how childish & lame we all still can be & i hate it. today, i learnt how leaders may not always lead, they just eat up all that's left of fame & credits. today, i learn how one day i'll cry blood, & it'll freak it so much that you'll go away. one day, everyone will know. i hate the way you're a somebody with the wrong ability. TA'S! i'm trying, trying to love my enemies! Wednesday, August 27, 2008
HELIUM BALLS! 7:49 AM
after training today, i felt like..sick! i felt like puking, dizzy & all /: 'can i like stay for 5min to cool down?' 'why is it that you never see the urgent need to leave? even if someone's dying you'd still be cooling down?' 'not like you're dying, right?' rightt, i didn't say the words in italic, just swallowed them in like downing alcohol! goshh, would you believe that i actually (for once) felt like crying because of such a comment that is so commonly made? maybe cos cup after cup makes you drunk & sober. one day, the bubble will burst, cos there's not enough soapy coverings to prevent it from doing so & it'll all evaporate away. & one day, you will see a tsunami. i figured that i would care ALOT if i ever tsunami-ed in school. i'm strong, at least that's what people think, therefore i am! HAHA :D i've been so touchy-feely these days. no, it's not healthy. yes, it makes me more sensitive & get peeved easily. uh-huh, do watch out. so many lies, now that i'm in one & currently stuck. will tell you about today, tomorrow (if i still remember, I TOLD YOU I'VE GOT SHORT TERM MEMORY -.-) ta's! helium balls reign over yours! BAHHAHAH. Tuesday, August 26, 2008
7:08 AM
ELIZ LICKED ME TWICE TODAY -.- damn her !@#$% ict was draining, evan booked me cos i accidentally swipe out my handphone to take a picture of ricky! DAMNDAMNDAMN, one more handphone booking & i'm going downdowndown. we finalised out gym dance today, IT'S PERFECTO (not exactly), but it's joy :D my mum's talking about andre & kids..HAHAHHA, damn amusing! ooh, i slept during geog today. i was drained & tired, alright! it was last block. & i was dreaming, yo! about a visit to the zoo & something. & MY KNEE SUDDENLY SLIPPED OFF THE TABLE, don't ask me what it was doing on the table in the first place. yea, & i thought like maybe the elephant in the zoo whamped me or something & i screamed & jumped up. look like this O_O i need to sleep early tonight, it's like 6 consecutive nights past 12am is NOT FUN. & I' VE GOT TRAINING TOMORROW & I'VE GOTTA FIGURE MY WAY TO BISHAN & I'M SO SAD I CAN'T PONPONPON SCHOOL TRAINING ]: COS...IT'S REALLY TIRING HAVING 3 TRAININGS PER DAY & IT MAKES ME FEEL SO WEAK & LOUSY. today, strangely, i suddenly felt so..attached to everything. the 'tree man' on today's newspapers, it's like damn sad. & when my dad started screaming at me cos i didn't know what to do, i didn't wanna say anything, cos i wanted things to be fine. but then he started cursing & swearing cos there was a jam & i wanted to go, 'oh, gawd! just shut the hell up, would you?' but no, i didn't say that cos i figured that staring out of the window & looking at people was much less stressful. & i bought my darling Van Houten chocolate coated raisins with a pretty royal blue <3 & there was this black cute guy there, HAHAHHAHA! i'm not racist, yo! i'm black too (& proud of it) :D ta's! (FYI, IT'S COPYRIGHTED) bannanananannanannanans! Monday, August 25, 2008
itchy-itchy-scratchy-scratchy up & down my backy-wacky 7:24 AM
let's go through the papers once more :D math - can pass geog - should pass history - will pass HAHA, sweet & simple. i think i went mad today & that resulted into being horny & freaked eliz out of her eyeballs. anw, she thought i wasn't me when i was being so nice & all. 'hey, liz..what ya buying?' it was in my damn sweet voice, cos i was hungry & i felt nicee, LOL. O_O 'i was wondering who you were la! why so sweet one!?' yea, that's what i get for being nice -.- my legs are tired & aching, somehow. we had games today for school training, although it didn't really bond us even if they wanted us to be. coach training was sprints; the feeling's like WOAH! & everytime you look up, you'll be wondering how fast you ran. i can't stand it, everytime i see people run they're like super fast & i see myself as someone behind. I WANT A VIDEO OF ME RUNNINGG, MANN.. ooh, i found a new book called 'A Whole New Mind- Why Right-Brainers Will Rule The Future', the title itself was funny. they say don't judge a book by it's cover, i'm sorry..i do. the book has ugly red & yellow colours on it's coverpage with a brain thingy /: EEEEEEEE, hahahaha. d&t was annoyingly annoying. the shit from the shaven plastic thingy kept flying into my eyes ]: LIKE FLYFLYFLY, WHAMP! & it probably went, 'HAHA! I GOT INTO JOELINE'S EYEBALLS!' with a big chikopeh smile, LOL. & i was itching all over, do refer to my blog title, HAHA! i know you're looking up :D LOL. my sore throat's like almost gone now :D but the cough still lingers like lingerie! HAHAH, bad punt! my left knee is so suan. ooh, sulynn attempted to speak in dialect, which he failed miserably. it sounded like, 'have you eaten yet?' in hokkien when she tried saying some other thing. anw, DAMN FUNNY! boonhowe's dad's car key got stuck in his car when his dad locked it without checking & he's asking where there's a locksmith! ZZOMG, IT'S THE BIGGEST JOKE OF THE HISTORY! like, can you imagine his whole family waiting outside their car with a -.- face, think of where there's a locksmith. maybe i'm tihnking wayy out of point, but it's funnyyy, alright :D BUT, ZZZOOMMG, THAT'S DAMN FUNNYY :D ahahhaha. zomg, my left leg is sooo suannnnn! I'M DYING! BLOOD-CLOT! THEY'RE GONNA CHOP OFF MY WHOLE LEG COS IT'LL ROTROTROTROTROTTT! O_O i'm mad. i'm a mad man. RICKY'S MY MAN <3 ta's! teabags. Sunday, August 24, 2008
differences in one to many 1:30 AM
i visit & re-visit, just to invoke some feelings within me, awaiting the day it dies down. still waiting... i've been sleeping past 12am for 4 consecutive days & today's the day i finally die. the whole trip back from my english class, i was sleeping in my dads car & he stopped by 3 places to check his tire, cos it seemed flat. & i was sleeping all the way, opening my eyes once in awhile to check that not some bad guy stranger has driven me off to lalaland, LET IT BE PETER PAN :D HAHA. church today was about 'loving your enemies', & you know how people instantly come to your mind & you start planning & plotting for your revenge that very moment the sermon's going on, but no, today was different, i didn't want to care about them. i thought, my first step to loving them was to ignore them, then, i won't be busy thinking about how mean & heartless & selfish & dumb they can ever be. yes, that's my first step. oh, i wanted to post this yesterday. sometimes i want it to rain, you know how i love rain & thunderstorms & all, cos they hold so much feeling & power, but yet at the same time, in some place elsewhere on Earth where a flood is going on right at the moment i'm singing under the rain laughing. how ironic! & at that time i find pleasure, there are people dying & fleeing for their dear lives, drowning. & when it's super hot, people die! from dehydration, although it's not THAT bad compared to floods. it's like sometimes, you want hot or cold, but at that same time you make a decision, it affetcs the live of many. not that you have the power to make such decisions, but what if you do? what decision would you make? & this shows the differences that one person can make. this links us to how we are. it affects the people around us. like how i was, such a idon'tknowwhat, i inflcted sadness to others, but yet chose to brush it aside. why? it was because of pride. i chose to ignore, chose to turn away from it. that's why! i've been mugging, geog & history. i'll pass math, that's all i'm asking for :D HAHAHAHA. ta's! Nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry, I can't be perfect! Friday, August 22, 2008
your words speak, but i ain't! 7:06 AM
just a few words that can break me down so easily. don't like feeling so vulnerable, so vulnerable to feeling upset so easily. i can't exactly remember what happened today, i told you, i've got short-term memory & nobody wants to believe me -.- ooh, i just studied history, like one solid hour of really studying! (that's what i do once in a yellow triangular moon, lol) satisfaction & pleasure, now it's fallen into the temptation of the computer. i think inferring someone from blog posts is not very accurate. you know, sometimes out of the sudden impulse of the moment or something that happen, you tend to over-exaggerate things a little bit & things sound bad. 'i have learnt the truth of you' -quote, unquote 'freak off bitch' - quote, unquote again. i shall not comment on that. because there's no difference in my life right now. & you shall go satisfy yourself with lust - whether out of anger or the impulse of the moment or forever. my life has been the same, & will always be. your side of the story is your business. it's when we cut-off all ties & acquaintances. i don't know what's to happen, no one knows, neither do i. i'm sorry, my pride is heavy, my ego is heavier, i can't help it even if i want to. last night, i wanna thank Christina <3 people like her, are called life-savers. haha. i was rushing my PT like zzomg & there my printer sat, glaring at me, & then it decided to die. yes, the sudden death of my printer made me go mad! sleeping past 12am on two consecutive days is bad! MAD & BAD! it rhymes :D haha. this morning, didn't feel tired. half-way during the house camp, i was like...-eyelids fly up & down & down & downn...- you know what? i've decided to push my pride & ego back, a little bit. your words hurt! yea, that's all. a little bit for a little bit(i even bold it! i'm trying, alright!). & there you'll be saying, 'so did yours -.- but did you care? NOOO. cos you're a self-centered snobbish pig!' i totally foresee that coming. don't wanna talk anymore. ta's! i'm trying even when i don't want to! but you don't see anything. Thursday, August 21, 2008
i no like you |: 6:06 AM
i'm so sure i've became some super sensitive pig, thinking about thoughts, finding meanings behind words & actions. my cough's still killing me. & my eyes keep tearing cos of it. it's annoying the eyeballs outta me. BIG TIME. house camp (part 2) tomorrow, haha. ta's! time-wasters. Wednesday, August 20, 2008
z-o-m-g! 7:45 AM
my throats sore & it's itching the ZOMGs out of me, whatever those ZOMGs may be. my literature is bugging me like a ZOMG & it's ZOMGly due on Friday. ZOMGZOMGZOMG! yellow-bellow 7:08 AM
today was perfect!
isn't that great? nic (note the different spelling, lol) is a dodo, he was telling me how i was gonna die & die again cos the battery of my wings went flat, my halo light switched-off & i fell flat on the ground with loads of blood & my eyeballs came out. & i reached out my hand & did something to it & died after that. WOW! imaginative or what? ANW, MY PARENTS FINALLY CAME HOME WITH MY LIVE-SAVERS, MY YELLOW STREPSILS WHICH WILL LAST ME FOR AT LEAST A WEEK :D house camp tmr :D ta's! BANANA, WANANANA. Tuesday, August 19, 2008
6:09 AM
woke up with a bad sore throat; maybe i should stop screaming. last night was a blast, & the next morning. everything seemed fine for a moment, i felt exactly the same, whether you did or you didn't cos i never really cared about you. sometimes, we think about random people. but i've somehow never thought about you. it should be a good sign, shouldn't it? it'll be a good reason for me to chill. i tried singing, no, you don't wanna hear it. i got tired of talking, cos my throat hurt. i just felt like sleeping the whole day. & yes, when i arrived home, i grabbed my history file &...fell asleep. & when i was asleep, i had a dream. i dreamt of nick, leon, isaac & the acsi badminton team (if there's even one). & nick was pissed with me cos i accidentally took some identity thingy of his & he didn't wanna speak to me. isaac was being like Ben Soh in p6, you know..talking & talking kinda thing. leon had nice hair, haha. yes, i slept the whole afternoon, so i guess i'll be staying up quite late tonight. i should be fine today, i hope so. i don't know. ta's! hang-on tight, it's a wild ride! Monday, August 18, 2008
6:21 AM
I AM PISSED. PISSED. PISSED. BUT I SHOULDN'T FEEL PISSED. BUT I AM. I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL SO. COS THAT'S WHY. YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW. WHAT DO YOU KNOW? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WHAT DIFFERENCE WILL IT MAKE IF YOU DO? BUZZ OFF! i could pour a tsunami 5:43 AM
Have been too busy looking at others that I've lost myself. to me, pride comes before myself. No matter what the circumstances are, pride still comes first. No matter how tough it is, no matter how tired i am, no matter how hurt I've been, pride comes first. then again, I guess that you'll never be able to find what's true. I could cry, but I wouldn't let anyone know. I am strong, because that's what how I seem, that how i carry myself, that's how i want people to know & understand me as. & I'll always be strong in your different opinions. I'm living a lie that only I'm aware of, that's because nobody else needs to know who I am. I would never say I'm sad, because I'm always happy, you don't need to know. I would never say I'm angry, I would never say I'm a bitch. That's what you don't need to know. I close your eyes & let your inner-thoughts engulf me. Who am I? What am I? my dearest 5:36 AM
Dearest Joeline,
Dearest Joeline,
Dearest Joeline,
Saturday, August 16, 2008
7:10 AM
TODAY WAS CHURCHY-WURCHY YOUTHY-GROUPY. tell me that i'm lame & have nothing better to do, HAHA! ta's! lemon-squishy. eyeballs are juicy :D Friday, August 15, 2008
i flonder-ponder-wonder about you. 8:06 AM
how can a happiness run away? i've seen happiness run dry, but i've never known how. when rivers are emptied, what can i do? i have but myself without power. when people fall, i stare. but as they tumble lower down, i want to move, but yet i can't get myself to. you're in a state of shock, yet you want to get over it. when you get all miserable all over, i don't know what to do. i don't see you, i don't talk to you, yet i've known you through all these years; 7 years. don't give up on yourself, dude! YOU SUCK, I SUCK, WE ALL DO! 7:11 AM
i thought today's training was really fun :D in a way, you know, when you think back about it you just think it's really fun! sometimes i'd imagine myself running; sprinting, & i'd see how fast i could go, what i could see from where i was, how i felt, if i was tired. & i'd be satisfied, just like that! this week, i manage to evade this question. 'what are you goals for 09 in track?' & i ran away. i'm so worried for you. i really am. you don't have to be this way. just be who you are; happy! ta's! i believe that happiness is key, so should you! Thursday, August 14, 2008
muscle ache, muscle ache, GO AWAY! 6:58 AM
i've got muscle ache ]: i need to reply ajy's email, it's been ages. my priority. shit! i closed the window -.- i'm writing it. if i've got time, i'll post. cos i feel like it. YES, I DID IT! I'VE SENT IT! & I TOOK FOREVER. but it's nice, yo! but i forgot what i wanted to post -.- okay, anyway. I'VE GOT PERFECT EYESIGHT :D elizabeth claims that i have sparkly eyes, & YESSS! I REMEMBER! THAT STUPID GIRLO SPAT AT ME (PURPOSELY) JUST COS I COULDN'T APPRECIATE HER FUGLY ART! IT'S FUGLY, ALRIGHT! LOL. & her stupid saliva was sprawled all over my face! EEEEEW LA. that's what i get for sticking with her through all this time? oh, mr future boyfriend of eliz, ALL ZEE BEST! many beeyatches nowadays. many problemos. many two-facing. i freaked eliz out today cos i was pissed with her & dao-ed her for one whole lesson, HAHA. WERE YOU SCAREDDD? OMG! & IF YOU REFER TO MY..JULY POST; LET ME REITERATE MYSELF & SUMMARISE IT FOR STUPID PEOPLE: I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE TO COPY THE WAY I AM!! I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE TO COPY THE WAY I AM!! I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE TO COPY THE WAY I AM!! 3 SENTENCES, YO! piss me not. you know, people have been pissing me off. you really can't blame me now; you guys have been saying i look so old -.- & i'll figure a way to deal with jingwen's hair, LOL. i snapped zhangyue's clip X: SHE DOESN'T KNOW! she'll never know : OHOHOH, ONE MORE THING: I THINK PEOPLE WHO GO BLOG HOPPING TO EVERYONE'S (I MEAN, E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E-'S) BLOG WITHOUT TAGGING ARE MENTALLY, SOCIALLY & EMOTIONAL UNSTABLE. YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU'RE PHYSICALLY UNFIT TOO. DO SEEK HELP. OR RATHER, JUST CUT ZEE CRAP -.- hahaha, i must be rather queer today. NO, I'M NOT! one more thing(don't worry, it won't be in bold, i'm sick of bold, too bright! LOL.). we should be who we are. you should stop being a two-faced covalent bond, they jump around, they don't stick forever. do remember, SUP, stands for Shut Up, Please! i feel so angry. actually, i don't. i just feel..hot! NATURALLY. haha. training tomorrow :D we're doing sprints. eriza, don't fall, HAHA [: ta's! I AM A CATION, I AM POSITIVE! Tuesday, August 12, 2008
2:59 AM
SHIT LA, MY FINGER SERIOUSLY HURTS. !@#$% stupid pig -.- achooo! 2:48 AM
i feel like i'm going to sneeze but i can't... I HATE THAT KINDA CRAP ]: anw, i'm looking forward to church this Sat, hahaha. do you know how depressing it is to look forward to a saturday on a monday? rightt, monday was yesterday :D LOL. si han was pretty fine, i was doing my ultimate best to crap whatever crappiness was left of me. geog was bad. i didn't study the dam & how those waterfall thingys were made & pissed the crap outta eliz & the DAMN DAMS! (the punt, ooooh! lol.) i seriously didn't know anything about it & so once again, my crappiness is put to the test. unseen lit was nice! didn't really know the whole paragraphing thing though. but it was enjoyable la, preetttty enjoyable. my sister just made me..(yes, the super lame oldest sister, btw.) smash my hand into the wall & it's like bleeding now. I'M DYYYING O_O tell my friends i love them & i'll always be..watching over them like some kinda extra peepy-poop! haha. i can see a durian tree from my house! DURIAN <3 i know you guys love durian too, STOP PRETENDING, YO! i've got lit anthology to do. i'm going to fail math. :D i'm filled with confidence. ta's! i'm talking about marks once again. Saturday, August 09, 2008
080808. that special day <3 12:54 AM
our National day celebration in school was pretty funny, annoying, boring, surprising. not like what i expected. let's see, the only exciting part was the jumping around like some...idon'tknowwhat :D on the other hand... YESTERDAY WAS FANTASTIC! i stepped into the house, instinctively walked into the backyard,five seconds later. CRACK..CRACK..CRACK! 'why got people cutting tree now?' 'what if the tree falls onto my house?' BOOOOOOOOM! the tree went smashing down. 'omg, they really cut ah? WAIT...THE TREE FELL!' 'OMG! MUMMMMMMMMMMMMM........' the whole freaking big tree fell, dented the fence, making it sooo flat! & chipped the roof off, now there's a hole in my roof, HAHA. the tree was so leafy, with so many clingers & stuff..it was about time it fell. it didn't have leaves of it's own, it had leaves of other planty-s.  yea, that's the whole tree in my backyard :D when it fell, i was like, IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! REALLY! IT FELT THAT WAY, you know, like in the movies when everything starts falling down, HAHA! so we called N Parks, they took 3 hours to come, the fence contractor & the roof contractor guy & blahblahblahhh.. we kinda told N Parks (last time), to cut the tree down cos it use to sway & sway & sway damn lot when there was wind & we all freaked out. but the DIDN'T want to, cos it was a 'prehistoric/ historical tree' -.- wow. let's see, that pretty 'prehistoric/ historical tree' came crashing into my house & died -.- couldn't they just end it's life earlier on? IT WOULDN'T BE SO PAINFUL, YEA? after that, my dad's tire was flat. the house phone spoilt. & i took the wrong bus to church & ended up running all the way back to the original bus-stop -.- & i was late for dinner. TELL ME ABOUT IT! church; yesterday. prayer & praise concert. loads of singing & praying. i mean, yeaaaa!!! pastor adrian was reading this verse from the Bible, about God releasing us from the grave while satan putting us back into that grave, the parable about the guy finding a land filled with gold & how he sold everything away for it. i felt that the Lord was like, telling me to give up everything i had. so i prayed, i prayed & asked Him, 'could i commit? could i commit to stay forever?' & i prayed for him to answer me that night! let me tell you about some time back... i always tried to make an effort to pray every night, but i only realised that i did so only when i needed God, only when i needed help/ to seek comfort. & once, when i was filled with guilt & sin, i didn't even have the courage to pray, i was afraid & ashamed, somehow. you know, like how adam & eve ate the apple & didn't dare to face God? & sometimes i thought that i wasn't good enough for God, cos whenever i tried committing, i would have a great start, but there was never an end, cos i would give up! i felt like i wasn't worth His time. & because i fell over & over again, i strayed away from Him. i would stray further each week, but the further i went, i felt that He would always try to pull me back, He would display his love to me. & i dare say that for a period of time, i was a weekend christian, i could be so commited on just the two days & the rest of week, i wasn't. i wouldn't speak to the Lord, i just wanted life to seem normal. (but then i soon realised that life isn't nomal without the Lord, it's abnormal; i has always been!) & i rejected him. everytime during service or anything, when i wanted to cry, when i wanted to express how i felt, some part of me would be like, 'no, don't cry! YOU CANNOT! it's gonna be embarrassing & is it worth it? HUH?' i was afraid. yea. but yesterday night. the Lord spoke through Melena, it couldn't have been a coincidence, I KNOWW, OKAYYY.. He said to place my past behind, that He loved me in whatever state i was in, even in this state, after rejecting him, after running away, He had always loved me. whatever guilt & sin i had, He would still love me. He would welcome me with open arms, always, forever! & i felt so touched, i mean..no one would be like this. after hurting Him so much, after running away, who would still love you to such an extend? He would! & i felt so bad..because he loved me all the time, even when i had so much guilt & sin, whatever wrong i did, he still loved me. cos you know, it's like, who else would? & that was the time he answered my prayer. i was certain that i could give up everything for Him, i could give up all earthly possessions & what not. because He had given up everything for me. & thank Him for that. you guys may think that i'm some kinda holy person after reading the above, but no, i've never been some scary holy person. it's like, when the Lord touches you, you just feel like you're in his embrace & you don't ever wanna go away anymore. i was touched by the Spirit of God, & i'm not ashamed to state it, i don't care what people think. cos i can easily give all of you up for Him. haha. ta's! JESUS, TAKE THE WHEEL! Thursday, August 07, 2008
ONE ROCK & ROLL TO MIDDAY! 7:19 AM
i've been feeling so sleepy lately! & i haven't been posting the real kinda stories cos everytime i'm logged-in, i'd have finished telling my story to someone else. i forgot what i wanted to say. YESSS! my memory's been failing me, is this how everyone feels when they've hit thirteen? i don't even remember what happened on Monday, other than training... i feel splendid, other than the fact that i can't remember stuff, i can remember my homework though :D i've completed most of my homework & i've got 22 maths questions left to do! i feel so accomplished, mann.. & yes, i feel accoplished very easily, lol. i'm going to church tomorrow, yes..that's the splendid thing, but i'm crossing my fingers, hoping that i won't fall asleep or something /: ta's! who is this? Wednesday, August 06, 2008
7:09 AM
the bestest, yet the worst. YOU DAOO-ED ME -.- i'll blast you. i'll blast all of you. even you! NOW GO AWAY! i need to peeeeee, LOL. ta's! siam la! Tuesday, August 05, 2008
david likes to waste my time with quizzes 6:36 AM
tagged by David -.- 1.What's the connection between you & the last person who called you? who called me? my mum called me -.- 2.Do you ever turn your cell phone off? yeaa, every nighty-night! 3.What happened @ 10am today? chemistry, i figured out how to learn more during her class: by not looking at her face! 4.When did you last cry? Saturday. 5.What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? bread :D 6.What do you want in your life right now? i want to cancel my fourth booking cos i had a reason! 7.Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood? RUN IN THE RAIN <3 the joyyy... 8.Whats your favorite thing to do on your bed? LOL, sounds damn wrong! i like to talk to myself. 9.What bottom are you wearing now? yellow shorts, OMG LA..IT'S YELLOW <3 10.What is the nicest text in your inbox says? let me choose, i've got loads of messages!! '20 sep', that's what i says, ISN'T IT SOOO NICE? lol. 11.Do you tend to make relationship complicated? nope. 12.Are you wearing anything that you borrowed from someone? nope. 13.What was the last movie you caught? yesterday yesterday :D 14.What are you proud of? myself, being who i am 15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say? '20 sep' hahahhaha! 16. What was the last song you sang out loud? that avril lavinge song, it just came to me, but i hate it! LOL. 17. Do you have any nicknames? joe, jell-O, joerin, tom sawyer <3 18. What does your last received text message say? 'Haha no. Oh and i saw your friendster what do u mean by your short cut? Haha' 19. What time did you go to bed last night? 11.45? 20. Are you currently happy? i'm scared i won't be able to cancel my booking ]: 21. Who gives you best advice? parents. 22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can? EEEW, NOOOO! 23. Who did you talk on phone last night? last night, i was talking to myself. LOL. nobody. 24. Is anything bugging you right now? the BOOKING! 25. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh? jingyen. 26. Do you wear toe socks? i think they're funny, haha. 27. Who was the last person you missed a call from? Home. 28. Have you ever had your heart broken? yea, no..why? yes! 29. What annoys you most in a person? beeyatch. 30. Do you have a crush on anyone? yes, maybe, thinking, nah..doubt it, guess so :D 31. Have you ever done cocaine? YEA, MAN..i was FLYYING! 32. What is the colour of your room? light purple. 33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar? no -.- i don't go so low to even do that. 34. Do you believed in the saying "talk in cheap"? NO! 35. Who was the last person to lay in your bed? ME. 36. Who was the last person to hug you? i didn't get any hugs today, let's flash back to yesterday...um, marissa! 37. What do you want to say to the person you have a crush on? YOU DON'T KNOW, BUT I KNOW :D aren't you excited? haha. 38. Do you have a life? yeaa, i don't mug everyday, muggers have no life. 39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't? yea, i just wanted to see my reaction to it! sounds dumb, but you should try it too! 40. What is the reason behind your profile song? i don't really listen to my profile song, my comp's always muted, LOL. 41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream? the dream i last remembered, I FORGOT! lol. 42. Last time you smiled? a few minutes ago. 43. Have you changed this year? guess so. 44. What are you listening to right now? the typing of keys on the keyboard, i like the sound, REALLY! do you? 45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this? i'm talking to myself :D 46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed? open & closed, IT'S FUNNN :D you should be asking, have you smashed into a banana tree before? LOL. do bananas grow on trees? they do, right? HAHA. 47. Is there a quote you live by? happiness is key! 48.Do you want someone you can't have? not exactly. 49. Have you ever played an instrument? piano, recorder (HAHAHHAHAHA!) 50. What was the worst idea you've had this week? i thought of the sickest thing in my entire life! eeeew. 51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm? on the comp. 52. Are you happy with your love life right now? no love, yet so much life! 53. What song describe your love life? I TOLD YOU, NO LOVE! i'm like a sad emo kid, haha. 54. Does the person know that you like him/her? no, cos..i don't want him/ her to. p.s i love you eliz <3 LOL. 55. Who always makes you laugh? elizabeth :D 56. Do you speak other language other than English? chinese & a malay, i only know Ungu, it's purple! lol. 57. Are you blonde? no -.- 58. What's your middle name? don't have one. 59. What are you doing tomorrow? school & school & school & sleep & sleep & freak out. & ASK THAT PREFECT TO CANCEL MY BOOKING!! 60. What do you think you are like? i think i'm like a tom sawyer, HAHA! 61. Who will you choose to die with? i wanna die on my own, GO AWAYYY..lol. 62.Where have you been today? school & home. 63. What game do you play often? i don't play games, i'm an anti-social kid who thinks the world is unfair! HMPH. try socialising with me & i'll bite your eyeballs out! haha. 64. Who are you missing right now? JOELINE, WHERE ART THOU? 65. If you've to choose between friend & love, who will you choose? i'll choose love, although it's not exactly right, it'll be hard, you know? 66. What are you doing right now? this quiz, is it like, ending? DAVID, YOU'RE WASTING MY TIMEE -.- 67. Which primary school are you from? nyps <3 68. Name 3 colours that you like. yellow, yellow, yellow! 69. What emotion do you like to show? HAPPPPYYYY :D 70. What is life to you? life is a game, i mean..yea! ta's! time-wasters. Monday, August 04, 2008
they come in threes 8:26 AM
you made me happy & so did i. another one made me happy & i guess i did too. but you pissed the strawberries outta me & i didn't. let us play the game of love & see who's the first to fall into the bobo love trap sydrome! & no, it hasn't ended. ta's! don't stray, it's pain. beeyatchy-peeyatchy-poo 7:51 AM
today was a good, bad, stupid, lame, pissy, annoying, bitched up day : training was fun, jingyen came to ny to pass me my belated birthday card & it was really funny, the card. it wasn't suppose to be but i thought it was. & it was pretty sweet too :D THANK YOU [: i'm a class secretary, nothing more, nothing less. yea, that's just to make things clear. i don't like people who, because of the impulse of the moment, vent their anger & flash it to public. because, in my opinion, that it self-centered & wrong. i don't like people who dislike me because of being who i am, because that's equivalent to disliking me in person. i don't like people who seem to be really nice in front of me just because of political reasons, because by doing so, you are turning yourself into a two-faced bitch. i don't like the way people expect me to be who i am not & do something my ability/ character cannot bring in me/i feel cannot bring in me. i don't like the way you saw me with that face! & i promise that after today, this post will be but past. after today, my face wouldn't be feeling so hot anymore. after today, we will stand as one. (i didn't say together, lol) liar. bitch. friend. lover. stalker. pesticide. which group do you belong to? ta's! so many faces, so many lies, too much to hold. Sunday, August 03, 2008
when life stabs you repeatedly 4:00 AM
i didn't not care. 'are you coming? nyps, now?' 'uhh..no, cos i thought nobody was.' 'oh, uhh..okay!' the expression in your voice, i was stunned for a second. you were angry, i thought you'd give up on me from then. i don't know. it sounded as if you didn't want to bother anymore. you've got the right to be, i didn't know what to say, which words were right. i just knew i couldn't attend it, i just knew you were pissed. nothing else i knew. i'm sorry, yun. i wait upon my email, waiting for your reply. was there enough space no more? ta's! you're still the best & forever shall be. Saturday, August 02, 2008
second chance 8:19 AM
i felt this song really meaningful & real, like it was reaching out to me & stuff...yea! ta's! couldn't stop those tears from flowing, couldn't stop the heart from calling out to you! Friday, August 01, 2008
i'm not missing you 9:51 PM
i will finish my History PT today :D i think the guy who sang Yesterday looks likes sean, somehow. eliz was saying, like quite some time ago, that she likes guy with small mouths. THAT'S LIKE DAMN GROSS! lol. went to RJC to leave with my sis yesterday & it's super coool. there's this judoka with super broad shoulders, like two times of mine! HAHA. here's the conversation he had with my sister before i came. 'hey, who are you waiting for?' 'my sister' 'oh, does she drive?' '.....no ' -.- 'how old's she anyway?' 'sec 1' 'OH, RIGHTT!' O_O he has a 19 year old sister, so apparently, he thinks that all sisters are 19 (or so i think), lol. & there was a hwachong guy on the bus back who had a red nose :D IT WAS KINDA FUNNY, ALRIGHT! oh, mann..i'm so mean /: BUT IT WAS FUNNY [: shouldn't be talking too much. history pt's waiting -.- ta's! mr gheytard moon man! HE'S OUT XXX 7:07 AM
i feel like a slacker, somehow. my DCs this Mon, & i'm not going to train on Wed cos of some geog thingy. today is another S day. SHIT! seriously, maybe i'm being over-sensitive this time. it's also been a boring day. too excited that it gets boring. looking forward to youth tomorrow. ta's! cry me a river! |
