You know whatt. (You're supposed to say whatt?)
I wanna visit Isreal & Egypt. I wanna see the Dead Sea & the pyramids.
No, studying is really crucial & it's not lame at all. But sometimes I find like I'm wasting my time. I could be doing something waaaay beneficial, something that helps others & not just working on things for my own benefit. But, yea..education's the fundamental in S'pore.

I dislike Newton's 2nd Law. I felt like a dumbass in class! & no, I'm not supposed to feel like a dumbass, cos it's not a nice feeling. So I ended up staring at the paper the whole 2 hours, trying to figure something out. Seriously, man. It's not a nice feeling. I wanted to walk out.

I must learn to be appreciative. I found out that I've got really helpful friends & acquaintances. I think it's kinda amazing!

ta's!

Wow.

God's marvelous. He doesn't need gmail or smses to get to you. He makes you think, He makes you realise and acknowledge the state you're in. He makes you wanna come home. & He sees right through all your plans, all your schemes, He sees right through the pain, He sees right through the sin, just to get to you. What more can we ask for?
Today, I realised more than that. I saw how others really were. I learnt to differentiate.
God never gave up on me, even though I gave up on him constantly. He just keeps watching me, calling me, urging me to continue. & I, keep dying in myself. But not anymore!

I'm tired, I'm grumpy. I should sleep. Right now. But I'm angry.

It's been a gazillion days & each week that passes by, my shoes are become like shit. Now competitions are here, my shoes are like shit. Yesterday, my shoes are like shit. Today, my shoes are like shit. Tomorrow, my shoes will probably be like shit. Why? Because you've got selective hearing, just like how I have personal choices & tend to stick to what I want. Must be hereditary, yes? I mean, it's freaking pissing me off la! I feel like a freaking asshole running with a pair of sole-less shoes. I'm so darn close to dropping track, I swear. I'm so close.

& I need a shoe bag, so what? Carry 3 pairs of shoes in my bag? Oh, well. I must admit that's a perfectly brilliant idea. WHATTHEHELL,MAN!

I know, I sound like some spoilt brat who's got a cactus stuck up her ass. But seriously, it's been a gazillion years & nothing's done. Everything of mine just gets worse. So now I'm sports bag-less, shoebag-less & sole-less. WOW.

Hamstring veh tight today.
Shin splint. Went to the sinseh when I got back.
My leg said it felt like a hotdog. It is very sad.

I chionged my Math supplementary exercise today :D
3 hours of chinese tuition tomorrow. Wapiang, seriously no life la!
Ohman, I sound like a beng!
CANNOT MEH? WANT FIGHT AH?
Forget it. Heh.

Isuckla.

Friday's coming!

This Friday's NBD! No Bag Day!
L-O-L.

ta's!

Left HC @ 6+ with Nick, I saw JunHao (Yes, the high-tech monkey).

Coach was telling me 'bout how husbands cheat on their wives & that's reality & stuff.
'If Nick likes you, but you like this other guy who's handsome & charming. & You don't like Nick cos he's too quiet. But you know that this handsome guy isn't always serious. But you're in love with him. THEN, YOU WILL HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO!'
Hahhaha, right! Malu much.

Training tomorrow in school. We may be going to HC to practice relay after that.

I was asking coach how to enjoy my runs. He said enjoyment is what we all want. But 'enjoying' is actually challenging yourself & wanting to improve all the time.
'EEEE, why like that one?' Hahahah.

I'm so gonna plan an awesome surpise party after Nats for coach's birthday!! HAHAHAH. IT'S GONNA BE MORE AWESOME THAN DECEMBER'S SURPRISE!

Oh. & Nick has a problem. He tore his hamstring. Is it spelt as hamstring? Ham? String?
So he MIGHT not be running this year /: So I won't be seeing him around. Might not be seeing him around, haha.

If everyone on earth had the same mentality, there'd be a jam.

Agree.

I wanna be an eskimo!! It seems cool :D

ta's!

You know, sometimes. We kinda become different to become someone else who's supposedly 'improved & better', what we think is good change. But we tend to lose some traits that a small group of friends thought was the most amazing in us, cos these friends took up such a small percentage in our lives. & it took me a gazillion years to realised that. To realise what was important, but I can't seem to get back. & these friends, they just kinda fade back into oblivion. I don't know how to get them back. I don't know how to get you back. I'm left with emails & chat logs & all the statistics. I only hear news. It's not enough. It's not good.

I can't seem to do any of my work at home. I come home everyday & it's..pack my bag, use the comp, ohit'slate! Sleep. I'm so sick of. I'm not sick of training, having the same routine. I'm angry. I'm angry at you!!!!!!!

The freak weather's such a nuisance! HOTCOLDRAINSHINE! Dude, make up your mind! Don't keep changing in minutes! My hands were strangely cramping up big time today, together with my left leg -.- Major cramp!

Super humid. Bathing doesn't work. You're still pretty drenched anyway. Wow.

I'm always super tired on Mondays la. Lugging my bag, shoe bag, files from CCAB all the way to bugis via mrt & bus. It's tiring, alright!! & It's damn pissing. 'Cos it gives me shoulder cramp. I'm really friggin' annoyed. I don't know if I'm training tomorrow la..We'll be doing relay & Nick'll be there. & SAA's on Sat, 150m. Strange much! I wonder how people manage to not give a damn & actually enjoy their run. It's something I haven't been doing in the past 2 years. & it's giving me hell! I'm doing something I used to enjoy, something I think I enjoy. You know what, I have no idea..

ta's!

One compliment & a thousand questions & goshh, you're an ass!

We did mole concept today & it's tremendously tedious. Like, wow!

I don't know.

Dear Mae,
Come on, girly. It doesn't end like that, there's still a thousand miles to go run & you ain't leaving me behind, are you?

Everyday's an option & I'm scared of making decisions. It's big difference. Between the doors. & you never know. That's what sucks!

I think I'm gonna gg my chinese compo.
I don't know. I'm unsure.

ta's!

I've been in an unusually good mood since I came back from training! We did 5 x 120m & gym today. & Tomorrow's relay & speed work! I'm actually excited, kinda.

I left my blue woootle-boootle in school! I just realised that I've got an emotional attachment to it!! I reallyreallyreally wanna find it! AHHH ]:

Mon's chinese compo - letter writing.
I haven't memorised anything!! & my mum's inviting her siblings over on Sunday!

I have random stress moments now. Thanks, man! Who memorizes Chinese compos?

I do!!! Shut Up. Damn.

Facebook spam! Super lotta pics! Ahhh.
ThomThom's out for Nats already. So fast ._.
It's sad.

Tomorrow's muggers day! I need to mug.
Wapiongz, training's at 7.30am tomorrow O_O
It's 23.05!

A lot of stuff's been happeneing.
I forgot what. I'm happy.
I need to study.

OOOH, I've got a math test this Wed. It's like, what, 15min? LOL. It's kinda amusing how they try to make life easier for us by giving us 15min test that are actually graded!

I love the TingTings too!

ta's!

Ahhh, I'm so sad I didn't get to see Sean or Zong or ChenYuan or Gene or Nick today /:
(I haven't seen Nick in ages. The last time I saw him was on a Tuesday. Some Tuesday. Oh..Nick!!)
I'm so sad I didn't get to go back to nyp.
I'm so pissed the school's definition of half-day is being released at 1pm, which is..not exactly half, but full day. It totally ruined my TGIF enthusiasm.

Met the 6G girls after school @ Plaza Sing.
Watched..Idk, little big soldier? The Jackie Chan one. It's awesomez! 4/5 stars! HAHAHA. It's a super joke movie.. I love it manymanymany.
Strangely, mugged with yukiko @ Macs as we waited for TheOther's show to end. There weren't enough tickets. Heh. So we opted for Jackie Chan, man!!

Apparently, Shaun was there. Lol.
Right. This random Shaun.

I saw Jeremy [:
Wapiang, I'M DAMN SAD I DIDN'T GO BACK TO NYP!

I'M SO DAMN SAD! I'M LIKE A LITTLE SPOILT BRAT. NO, I'M NOT A SPOILT BRAT! THE SCHOOL SUCKS, WE WERE RELEASED AT 1PM -.- That's the 2nd latest..BUT THAT'S BAD ENOUGH, DAMN IT ]:

I'm so totally going to go out with them one day.

DAMNIT.

I finished my math proposal & chinese hw & math worksheet!

WHO'S AWEOMSEEE?

heh.

ta's!

Went for skin care & make-up class today. It was pretty entertaining. I learnt 2 things:
1. Turquoise is a cool colour
2. Eye liners are like annoying.
Ended class at 6+ & camwhored with Yukiko's Mac & spammed super lotta pictures. Man, it's addictive!

AHHH! I WANT A MACBOOK TOOO! But then I'll have to lug it around after school everywhere I go, I a bit the lazy.

I'm so busy everyday. I thought I'd manage to catch an episode of 90210 or something..but, I'm wayy too busy for that. Managed to complete SS FA & I realised that I've copied all my chem notes into my physics book O_O So I'll have to shift everything again.

This morning was super joke. We had to go around J Block & D&T Block to take pictures of Weathering. Heh. We ended up camwhoring in the tennis courts, cos it looked really pretty. Lol!

& I spent my Physics lesson building a pen tower!! With our cny paper crane, 'Punk'd' (Yea, that's it's name) on top of it! I wanna super glue 2 tables together at the end of the year! It'll be cool :D

Yesterday was an uber hot day! & my stamina sucks like laohong curry puff! & I went for tuition with a..plastic bag. & I think I needa change my wallet cos my money's always missing (I think it drops out.. LOL).

I asked them to be the bigger person. So be considerate & patient & understanding & at least appear to be friendly. & no, I can't be a hypocrite. But I'm a super impatient person & I can't help it. I can, actually. By fake-smiling & cursing in my brain. Yea, that usually works. But..I don't know how to deal with people whom I can't relate to. & their constant high self-expectations & emo breakdown is something I cannot deal with. & no, I can't always be that (fake) reassuring friend who constantly showers you with love & attention. Because, I get angry too. But you see, I can't possibly scream my head off & ask people to Shutthup. Because that's unlady-like & I'm trying my best to be a daughter of a better age (Wow!!). It's not humane. Therefore, I am at a great lose of what I should do. If I take no action, I will suffer immensely.

My hand has been peeling. It's bad. Girls are supposed to have delicate & fragile & soft hands & fingers & stuff. Ah, so much bullshitting today!

I've still got Geog worksheet to do. & my geog teacher is this awesome woman, but I really don't know what she teaches. She doesn't exactly teach. She just..Idk what that's called. Talking?

Filing is a very tedious process, so is Standard Deviation. Oh, I had my 5% Weightage-d Math test today. & yea, it's okay la. I mean, if I screw it up, 5% only :D If I do well, congrats!

One thing I don't get. How people can be such asses about perfection, about being the all-knowing idiot (Oh, the irony!). Being the best. Being a life-long learner is..life! Yes, life is about learning & progressing & improving your standards & knowledge. But if one insists on accomplishing so much in a day, then..that's bullshit la! I don't know how people do it. How they manage to push themselves (off the cliff......) a gazibillion times more than me & try to survive. Must be a miracle. Really. Gosh -.-

Training tomorrow. I hear we're doing sprints!

ta's!

I was used to people around me. So used to it. & I used to be kinda paranoid about it; there had to be someone accompanying me in everything I did. But it's kinda different now, I guess..I don't know! I like being on my own, sometimes. Muchmuch more compared to before.
It's quite scary, knowing that I'm different.

Don't worry. I'm still Joe (the Pro! Hahaha.)

I miss Su & Eliz.
I miss Youth.
I miss feeling so damn happy.
I don't know how to.

ta's!

I hate you! So much.

A thousand & one days with dreams of 5 years.

A thousand & one songs.
A thousand & one messages.
A thousand & one of me.
A thousand & one of you.
A thousand & one hearts.
A thousand & one of them.
You disappoint me.

I don't get it! I don't get it one bit! How differences can be such a great issue. It'd go on forever...

Okay. Whatever!

Met up with Jas to study with her. I'm so gonna chiong all my math..

Spent my first hour in school folding paper cranes. Honestly, I was mad. I was angry. I don't know why. I've been sleeping during lunch breaks. Don't really see the point in them.

Lunch on Friday! This week's past so fast. Can't wait to get over with it.

Last night was the worst night ever. I swear, I was hallucinating or something. It was terribleterrible!

Goodbye.

ta's!

We finished our FilmCluster proposal :D I'm so pleased. I feel so satisfied hanging out with y'all! Haha. We watched all our music video spoofs & science video. HAHA! It's just, pleasing. I miss so many people. I miss Elizabeth - she's like havoc! I miss SuLynn - she's always so task-oriented & she thinks she's mature. I miss Marissa - she's always complaining, heheh! I miss Jaslin - all her ahlian ways & slapping. I miss Evangelyn - she always tries her best to be the the Peace & Perfect. I miss Rachel - she'd stop running during training just to wait up for me. I miss Sheryl - I don't exactly talk to her though we're in the same class. She makes paper frogs, while I make paper cranes! Muchmuch in common [:

I feel blocked out. I feel like I'm changing, I'm different. I'm quieter now(no, it's not about the whole I-needa-be-guai-in-class issue). I don't like to talk so much, there's nothing to talk about. I spend so much time being on my own, thinking 'bout so many things. Sometimes it scares me. To know I'm gonna be different.

I'm worried for Samuel, he's having so much trouble adapting in Aussie. He's all emo, missing everyone & busy hating his school, complaining about the ticket prices there. Oh, man. He's so far. But my plan work. Maybe I shouldn't have had it.

'Then don't talk to me either!

Why am I so nasty sometimes? I'm not unhappy with you. I'm unhappy with myself. I'm thinking wayy to much. I'm not even supposed to be hormonal now, please! Lol. But it sucks, it seriously sucks! I miss so many things. I hate this feeling! I hate it! It's not good. Not one bit.

Everyone's slowly gonna disappear, they're gonna be so damn distant, then POOF!!

& it matters like crap to me. It does!

I needa grow up. Yup.
Not talking isn't helping me. I'm gonna start hallucinating soon or something. & hearing voices in my head. I should focus on folding paper cranes.

I can't even be bothered to go for lunch nowadays..it's a waste of time.

It's alright to be alone. Figure things out.

ta's!

I'm kinda glad! Finished filming with Su, Eliz & Mae today. I guess, it's fun. Just going out, not doing a lot. Just hanging out. Sometimes I wish I could live like that forever.

We cabbed to forum from school, played with the toys & cabbed to iluma after that! Took the last 2 scenes there. OHMAN, we met our ArmyCamp guide! SURPRIZESURPRIZE! He finished his army stuff last year & is a manager at some restaurant! Haha, not bad yes?

Had dinner at the foodcourt, cos we couldn't decide what to have /:
& DESERT AT THIS AWESOMEAWESOME CHINESE DESERT STALL CALLED...um, AWESOMEZ! & we all had mango sago pomelo <3>